> Date: Tue, 9 Feb 2010 21:52:35 +0800
> Subject: Bussiness Proposal
>
> Dear Friend,
> Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mr.Scott Cha-choe ,and i am the former branch Manager of Secure Online Community Bank, Giowey Branch, England. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.Now what we need to do to achieve success in this business is your Trust Sincerity and Honesty.The deceased Mr. Yuan Baojing was my client and before he was convicted and executed by the Chinese Government for murder in March 17, 2006,He had a secret account with my bank that he operated secretly with an Indonesian business associate. Below is a helpful weblink that will enable you know more about the deceased.
>
> http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2006-03/18/content_4315137.htm, I and the account officer to this account are aware of this account which contains the sum of $30,000.000.00. THIRTY MILLION US DOLLARS and I have decided to let you have 30% of the total sum of money. I will let you know more about me and how we can commence this business as soon as I get a positive response from you with the answers to the questions I have asked below. I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin.
>
> For us to move ahead with this transaction, I will need to know more about you. I will need you to kindly provide me with a brief profile of yourself for my confidence, a kind of back ground introduction. Are you married,do you have children, what you do and how old are you??? As soon as I hear back from you, I will provide you with a more detailed explanation of this business.Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.
>
> Please reply back to my private email address (****@yahoo.com<mailto:****@yahoo.com>)
> Have a pleasant day as I wait to hear back from you shortly.
>
> Best regards,
> Scott Cha-Choe.
> Subject: Bussiness Proposal
>
> Dear Friend,
> Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mr.Scott Cha-choe ,and i am the former branch Manager of Secure Online Community Bank, Giowey Branch, England. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.Now what we need to do to achieve success in this business is your Trust Sincerity and Honesty.The deceased Mr. Yuan Baojing was my client and before he was convicted and executed by the Chinese Government for murder in March 17, 2006,He had a secret account with my bank that he operated secretly with an Indonesian business associate. Below is a helpful weblink that will enable you know more about the deceased.
>
> http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2006-03/18/content_4315137.htm, I and the account officer to this account are aware of this account which contains the sum of $30,000.000.00. THIRTY MILLION US DOLLARS and I have decided to let you have 30% of the total sum of money. I will let you know more about me and how we can commence this business as soon as I get a positive response from you with the answers to the questions I have asked below. I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin.
>
> For us to move ahead with this transaction, I will need to know more about you. I will need you to kindly provide me with a brief profile of yourself for my confidence, a kind of back ground introduction. Are you married,do you have children, what you do and how old are you??? As soon as I hear back from you, I will provide you with a more detailed explanation of this business.Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.
>
> Please reply back to my private email address (****@yahoo.com<mailto:****@yahoo.com>)
> Have a pleasant day as I wait to hear back from you shortly.
>
> Best regards,
> Scott Cha-Choe.
RE: Bussiness Proposal
| From: | |
| Sent: | Thu 2/11/10 5:08 PM |
| To: |
Greetings!
My name is Johnson Bilgroundlington and your email arrived just in time! I am exhausted from masturbating my coon hounds all day (I breed coon hounds and need the male coon hound semen to impregnate my female coon hounds) and your email really lifted my spirits, I must say. Financing my coon hound breeding farm has been tricky, at best. Like George Washington, Scott, I cannot tell a lie: there is not a lot of money in inexpertly breed coon hounds here in midtown Manhattan.
While I'm all for the Chinese government executing people, I have to ask if the person this Baojing ALLEGEDLY murdered wasn't really a Terminator from the not-too-distant future. Did the Chinese equivalent of the FBI test the body for the famous Seven T Characteristics of Terminators? (Tenacity, temperance, thoughtfulness, thoroughness, tranquility, transubstantiationality, teeth.) If not, then I remain skeptical of the efficacy of Baojing's execution and would be hesitant to accept any of his estate's monies.
However, if the body DID pass three or more of the Seven T Characteristics of Terminators, I would be more than willing to assist you in your efforts to dispose of the man's dirty, dirty cash money. To that effect, allow me to answer several (but not ALL, a fella has to keep his secrets he he he!!) of your questions related to me and my horniness. I am married to my work, I live in the sub-basement of a very nice apartment building in midtown Manhattan ever since I saw the doorman hitting a homeless man with a length of carbon steel rebar (I could tell it was the good stuff), and I am 47 years old. I have two children that I love very much but suffice it to say that I have several children, two of which are legitimate and four of which I do not acknowledge on the advice of legal counsel. I did not pay for this legal counsel, although I said I would. Ha ha! The joke is on him, and on my bastard children.
I am afraid we will run into significant problems in terms of me helping you invest Mr. Baojing's murder dollars. I will cut to the chase: I have lobster hands. Did you see Batman Returns? I am like that scamp The Penguin in Batman Returns. I can type very slowly with speicalized gloves I made out of mittens and coon hound claw clippings. While these gloves are handy (and sexy), it takes me surprisingly long to write even a few words and I am committed to meticulous spelling. It took me ten minutes to type the previous sentence, for instance. (Sixteen minutes now that I've explained myself. [Nineteen minutes.]) You get my point, I'm sure, about it taking me so long to type. Typing is a hurdle I have cleared, obviously, but seeing as I went to Washington, D.C. public schools as a lad I cannot sign my own name. Since I cannot sign my own name and insist on wearing an untied medical dressing gown at all times you can see how obtaining a bank account or establishing a credit history would be simply an impossibility.
I am still willing to help you, though!!!! Send me the slaughter cash in the form of a standard crate palate of thirty by thirty by thirty shoe boxes full of fifty dollar bills, and I can invest the money in bedding and mange treatment for my coon hounds! They will love you, and in honor of our achievement I will name all of them after you. Aww, they even look like you! Do you have mange and constantly howl in pain? If not I doubt they look much like you, actually.
Reply swiftly, Scott Cha-choe, I will be attending to my various enterprises and awaiting your reply!!!!!
Love,
Johnson Bilgroundlington, Esq.
My name is Johnson Bilgroundlington and your email arrived just in time! I am exhausted from masturbating my coon hounds all day (I breed coon hounds and need the male coon hound semen to impregnate my female coon hounds) and your email really lifted my spirits, I must say. Financing my coon hound breeding farm has been tricky, at best. Like George Washington, Scott, I cannot tell a lie: there is not a lot of money in inexpertly breed coon hounds here in midtown Manhattan.
While I'm all for the Chinese government executing people, I have to ask if the person this Baojing ALLEGEDLY murdered wasn't really a Terminator from the not-too-distant future. Did the Chinese equivalent of the FBI test the body for the famous Seven T Characteristics of Terminators? (Tenacity, temperance, thoughtfulness, thoroughness, tranquility, transubstantiationality, teeth.) If not, then I remain skeptical of the efficacy of Baojing's execution and would be hesitant to accept any of his estate's monies.
However, if the body DID pass three or more of the Seven T Characteristics of Terminators, I would be more than willing to assist you in your efforts to dispose of the man's dirty, dirty cash money. To that effect, allow me to answer several (but not ALL, a fella has to keep his secrets he he he!!) of your questions related to me and my horniness. I am married to my work, I live in the sub-basement of a very nice apartment building in midtown Manhattan ever since I saw the doorman hitting a homeless man with a length of carbon steel rebar (I could tell it was the good stuff), and I am 47 years old. I have two children that I love very much but suffice it to say that I have several children, two of which are legitimate and four of which I do not acknowledge on the advice of legal counsel. I did not pay for this legal counsel, although I said I would. Ha ha! The joke is on him, and on my bastard children.
I am afraid we will run into significant problems in terms of me helping you invest Mr. Baojing's murder dollars. I will cut to the chase: I have lobster hands. Did you see Batman Returns? I am like that scamp The Penguin in Batman Returns. I can type very slowly with speicalized gloves I made out of mittens and coon hound claw clippings. While these gloves are handy (and sexy), it takes me surprisingly long to write even a few words and I am committed to meticulous spelling. It took me ten minutes to type the previous sentence, for instance. (Sixteen minutes now that I've explained myself. [Nineteen minutes.]) You get my point, I'm sure, about it taking me so long to type. Typing is a hurdle I have cleared, obviously, but seeing as I went to Washington, D.C. public schools as a lad I cannot sign my own name. Since I cannot sign my own name and insist on wearing an untied medical dressing gown at all times you can see how obtaining a bank account or establishing a credit history would be simply an impossibility.
I am still willing to help you, though!!!! Send me the slaughter cash in the form of a standard crate palate of thirty by thirty by thirty shoe boxes full of fifty dollar bills, and I can invest the money in bedding and mange treatment for my coon hounds! They will love you, and in honor of our achievement I will name all of them after you. Aww, they even look like you! Do you have mange and constantly howl in pain? If not I doubt they look much like you, actually.
Reply swiftly, Scott Cha-choe, I will be attending to my various enterprises and awaiting your reply!!!!!
Love,
Johnson Bilgroundlington, Esq.
I think "I will cut to the chase. I have lobster hands" is the funniest line in all of these entries. You are brilliant.
ReplyDelete